so awesome.
think someone he should defo do this for me ha! :)
I’ve been thinking a lot about myself, people I know and how we all portray ourselves.
We all have traits in our personalities we don’t want others to discover.
Some of us act completely different to how we really are and feel, to hide our vulnerabilities from everyone.
We put up walls, defence mechanisms and live our lives by a facade, to not let anybody in.
What I’ve been thinking though…
Would you prefer to find out that the most cocky, confident person you know, who generally turns out to be a total dick to everybody around them and seemingly not care about it, is actually, deep down, just really insecure in themselves and worries about everything. They hurt people as a defence to not let themselves look vulnerable or get hurt and they fake so much confidence to hide the insecurities they have with themselves.
Would that humble you to know that they’re just like you and I?
That they are not unbreakable?
Or would you prefer to find out that the lonely quiet individual, the one who never seems confident and hides behind shyness, the one who worries constantly about how they look, what people think of them and seemingly hate themselves, the ones you feel sorry and sympathetic towards, actually don’t. To find out that they are really confident in their own skin but seek reassurance and attention from others so secure the fact that everybody believes in them, or thinks a lot of them. That they do infact have the confidence you wish they would have and they’re just attempting modesty…
The person you think has no confidence or belief in themself actually has more than you could ever imagine…
Would that make you smile for them, knowing that they’re okay?
Or would it make you think less of the person?
Either way, if people keep hiding who they really are, how is anybody going to get to know them and appreciate all their amazing individual qualities.
I’m sure I’ve lost the chance to know some great people because of the barriers they put up, and I’m 100% sure many people have lost the chance to get to know me, due to mine.
Not anymore though :)
xo
When I sit down and think about how much I used to have to say when I was in a relationship, or when I was hurt and going through the break-up.
And how now, when I’m single, happy and pretty much loving life - I really have nothing to say (that’s of any interest anyway)
Sure, there are plenty of things I don’t have the answer to; I still pretty much don’t know what I want to do with my life, where I want to go, who I want to be but right now I’m happy just going along and seeing what happens.
Some people don’t get that. They don’t get that I’m happy just doing my own thing.
I don’t need to have definite answers to my career or future, I’m still young and have lots to do yet.
Some people thrive on relationships and being with somebody and it’s taken me a long time to get to where I am now, which is comfortable with myself, not needing anybody, not wanting anybody. I just really like my own space.
Maybe I’ll be one of those crazy old ladies who has a million cats when I’m older and nothing else… I’d love that.
I’m 24, free, single and I have a lot going for me. Why hold myself back?
I cannot wait to explore :)
xo
where I really cannot get myself motivated in any form to do anything whatsoever.
and yknow it’s sods law that on these days you actually have stuff to do.
rubbish, actually rubbish.
xo
new year. new outlook. new life. new blog layout. new updates.
stay tuned…. xo
